Saying NO To Diabetes!

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Chaos running through my head. Emotions are wild and stress levels are higher than normal. As I try to calm down from my panic attack as a result of reading the blood test results from my doctor. There is time to change the future. I can change the future and the time to start is now. But first, deep breath, calm down and walk firmly in the right direction.

Yes, I have encountered many wrenches and fallen off the wagon many times along my weight loss journey. I keep kidding myself that I can keep falling as long as I get back up. Reality has caught up to me. I had blood work done and this the letter stating my results. 

Not horrific but, very bad and scary for me. I have three relatives with diabetic problems. One could have fixed it, denied it and is now insulin dependent. Another denied it and eventually a minor surgery took her life. I have seen their lives, I do not want to be like them. I will not be them. As I write this entry, I am still in panic mode. I do not want to over react, but I can not put it off any longer.
I weighed myself this morning at 208.5lbs! I am shaking my head in disappointment, disbelief, and embarrassment that I have done this to myself. No more excuses. I log it all, count calories, plan my meals, make exercise a priority. It's an up hill battle I must win. 

I have a knot in my throat and I feel like crying. I feel like a failure. I feel heavy. I feel fat. I feel the odds against me. Despite all these feelings I have to focus on the fact I can still do something about my weight. No more staying up late. I need 7 hours of sleep. I need to change my world, change my future.
Tossing out the Sour Patch Kids. My kids are more important than these little gummies. Need to include more veggies in my daily snacking. Grabbing a baggies filling them with celery sticks, others with baby carrots. I can snack, but on better things. Since getting my hydration pack, I have been drinking more water. So in that area, I am already doing better. 

Send me good vibes, I need them.

If you are in a similar situation, feel free to keep in touch with me. Sometimes just having someone to talk to helps make that tough day a little easier.
My Facebook Page is "Mrs G's Weight Loss Journey"
My Twitter is @MrsGJourney
I'm also on LoseIt.
 

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