Seven Days of Controlled Chaos.

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The best way to describe the past 7 days is "controlled chaos." Today I steer my world back in to a more favorable direction.

Seven Days Ago:
The kids had Christmas parties at their school. I was surrounded by cupcakes, candy canes, hot chocolate, whip cream, chocolate covered nuts, gingerbread lattes ... a million different versions of sugar. Some parents are really good bakers and the treats they brought looked and smelled incredibly delicious. Double chocolate heavily brownies, peppermint bark,  sugar cookies, each one was more and more tempting. I did sneak in a guilty bite here and there but forced myself not to indulged in whole platefuls. It was controlled samplings. It was a busy day, I was exhausted and skipped my walking.

Six Days Ago:
Our garage is not connected to the house and so getting gifts from the garage into the house was difficult on account it was raining. Trying to wrap gifts while the kids were at school was challenging. I felt like I was playing beat the clock. Do I wait for the rain to calm down? Will the rain calm down in time for me to bring up the gifts AND wrap them before the kids get out of school. Tick, tick, tick, do I eat first or wrap first or, or, or. Pressed and stressed for time, eating in a timely healthy manner did not happen.

Five Days Ago:
Last day of school! It's Spirit Day at their school, Wear Your PJs to School is the theme. Translation, I, as part of the yearbook team need to be at school taking pictures of the kids, teachers, and staff wearing PJs. I also need to meet with the Yearbook Club and, oh by the way, it's a half day. Crazy busy day. Breakfast that day was at 2pm. I was *hungry* and of course I made bad choices.

Four Days Ago:
It's Christmas Eve and allowed myself to sneak in treats in here and there all day and all night. We tried to make it to midnight mass, but that was a mistake. The kids fell asleep. The only good part of that day was I got my 30 minute walk in and enjoyed a 10 minute hydro massage thanks to Crunch Gym.

Three Days Ago:
It's Christmas Day! Yay! Lots of presents to open, ... including a FIVE POUND tin of cookies mom gave. I did not open it. We were also blessed with 4 dozen tamales ... 48 tamales! I could go on, but I won't. Lots of well intended presents I did not want. Pressure was high to sample, to try, to have "just one" or hurt someone's feelings, or be called "anti-social." *sigh* Eat and see smiles or don't eat and see frowns. One day won't kill me, but it was "controlled" bad eating.

Two Days Ago:
My body felt heavy and sluggish. I began to feel really bummed out when I looked at my Weight Watcher's app and saw how many days I had not stayed within my daily allotted SmartPoints. Not getting my daily walk/steps in did not help either. I was really feeling down.

Yesterday:
Feeling depressed my weight loss journey had ended. For a brief moment I felt like I had failed and there was no hope for me. I had Carl's Jr for lunch. Half way through eating, I felt sick. I threw my food away and decided I was not going to give in to failure. I CAN STILL SUCCEED. For dinner I had 16 SmartPoints which included lasagna, a salad and a tall glass of lemonade.

Today:
I attended my weekly Weight Watchers meeting and as expected, I gained weight. To my surprise, it was only 1.2lbs. I was expecting it to be more like 3-4lbs. It did make me feel better. I did slip off my weight loss journey wagon. I was ready to let the wagon go on without me. Something has changed, I changed. I got back up and although I am struggling, I am not giving up.

So glad I am not giving up. When I got home, I found a package waiting for me. My first order from Chef'd!


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